Bluestem Welcomes Funeral Homes
Counseling Families about Natural Burial
Funeral homes do essential work educating and counseling families about the options available to them, including natural burial. For individuals who are just beginning their learning about natural burial at Bluestem, we suggest they review and follow the steps on our How It Works page. The following handouts may also be printed and given to those seeking information about Bluestem:
Bluestem staff work directly with a family representative to reserve their Bluestem burial plot and arrange for a burial service. Bluestem does not provide caskets or shrouds, transportation, care of the body after death, shrouding/casketing, or death certificates. We direct families to our Service Providers list as they select a local funeral home or mortuary transport service to provide these services and as they choose a natural casket or shroud. All natural shrouds and caskets must be approved by Bluestem staff prior to burial. Supporting Families Prior to the Service
Generally, Bluestem staff are notified of a death by a representative of the family. If the deceased already has a plot reserved at Bluestem, staff will assess the plot and confirm a date of service with the family representative or with the funeral home supporting them. If the individual has not pre-planned with Bluestem, Bluestem staff will work with the family to reserve a plot at-need. We will point the family to our Service Providers list where they can select a local funeral home or mortuary transport service, choose a natural casket or shroud, and make arrangements for the care of the body, filing for the death certificate, and transport to Bluestem. (Bluestem does not provide these services.)
Working with Bluestem Staff
Feel free to reach out to Bluestem staff weekdays from 10-4 on the office phone number (919) 300-9425 with any questions. If you do not reach us, leave a message, and we will return your call as soon as possible. Note that all burial services are scheduled with staff and planned on weekdays. Exceptions can be made for a weekend service with an additional fee; however, they must be pre-arranged with Bluestem's co-directors, Heidi Hannapel or Jeff Masten. Email us here.
What to Expect at Bluestem
Bluestem is a very natural area. Good walking shoes, sun protection, bug protection, and water bottles are recommended. Bluestem provides a jug of ice water at every burial. Two porta-potties are available on site. In most areas, electricity is not available. Limited golf cart assistance can be arranged if necessary. Services are held in all weather conditions, please dress and prepare accordingly.
It is Bluestem's ethos that all staff, volunteers, and other service providers supporting burial services: maintain a respectful quiet, do not participate in the family's rituals, provide privacy for the family where possible, and work collaboratively in a professional manner. Instructions for Arriving at Bluestem
Please note that we request delivery of the deceased one hour prior
to the start of the scheduled burial service. (1) When you arrive, please stop at the gate at the end of the parking lot and a staff person will meet you there.
(2) We will then escort you to the appropriate location and show you where to unload the deceased. Bluestem staff will work with you to move the deceased to the burial service location. Please note that Bluestem is an active nature preserve open to the public every day even while burial services are taking place. Please drive no faster than 10 miles per hour while on the property. Bluestem Road simultaneously serves as a travel route for walkers, hikers and slow-moving vehicles. (3) After unloading, funeral directors are welcome but not required to stay for the burial service. Unlike conventional cemeteries, Bluestem will be responsible for supporting the family and conducting the burial. If staying, we will direct you to park your car in a discreet area away from where the service is taking place. (4) Throughout the burial service, you are welcome to stand with Bluestem staff and burial crew volunteers, who attend to family needs while maintaining a respectful distance during their ceremony and grieving rituals. When the family is ready, staff and volunteers direct and support the process of burial, inviting families to participate as much or as little as they are comfortable. This includes lowering the casket or shroud into the grave, and closing the grave by hand. Bluestem provides all materials and tools for the family's participation. When approved by the family, funeral directors may be invited to assist with the closing of the grave. Flowers, Musicians & Mementoes
Families are encouraged to design their own ceremonies, including grieving practices, rituals, and traditions that are meaningful to them. If you are supporting the family in planning a burial ceremony or memorial rituals, we ask that you coordinate with staff to ensure the practices are compatible with Bluestem's conservation and community values. Guidelines that should be considered when planning a service include, but are not limited to: Only biodegradable materials are permitted inside or on the grave. If you have a question about what constitutes biodegradable, please reach out to us. Planting on graves is not permitted. Open flames are not permitted. Gravestones are provided by Bluestem and engraved by the family; outside stone is not permitted.
Bluestem welcome officiants, musicians, and other service providers to the site, but we ask that they are well-informed of Bluestem's layout and natural features in order to ensure a smooth experience. Please share this information (listed under What to Expect at Bluestem above) and direct them to Bluestem staff with any questions. Thank you for the work you do to provide the families coming to Bluestem a meaningful, personal experience aligned with conservation values. Please don't hesitate to contact us with questions and feedback as we support Bluestem Families together.
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